Tuesday, May 24, 2011

My last BTPTC e-mail out

24th May 2011

Could not help it but just wanna put this to a memory disk to remind me of the wonderful memories I had and to some ex-colleagues who did not get to see my message to them.

The below message is a final e-mail sent out from my ex-company desktop on 29th April 2011, before 12 noon.



For my ex-colleagues whom I regards as friends now......





"To all my friends at BTPTC,

29th April 2011 mark my last day in BTPTC and I will like to say Thanks and GoodBye.

Since 12th April 2007 where I put my first step into this family, it was a huge leap away from my naive schooling days. It is here, I learnt the way to working life, the important of surviving and how great companionship could keep one motivated to strive on.

Companionship - is the life jacket for Antz to swim n this giantic ocean (BTPTC).Some, probably it's the tough times (knocking door to door or hunting forms during public holidays) we been through, that created the conversations we shared.
Some, whom we barely speak 10 sentences per week, but there's surely topics when we halted by the pantry for a short chat.
Some, who gave me a helping hand to push me higher and guide me through the time where dark cloud blurred me.

While the rest, a simple 'Good Morning' with a smile, did enough to brighten up the start of my day.

Fortunate - is to have you all as my co-workers for the past 4 good years here. Wont forget the laughters we shared during recreational events (Retreat @ Sentosa and D&Ds) and the sweat we dripped during company's missions.

Thank you for all for the companion and the wonderful memories I had here. I sincerely apologize if my words or actions had ever offended you in any way.

I hope the seeds that you had planted with your hard work and time put in, will bloom into a great rewarding havest that you have hope for!

And now, it's really Goodbye and hope we stay in contact (via FB). Take care! = )


Warmest regards, Antz Hong"

The past and fresh

24th May 2011

Started afresh since 4th May 2011 when fresh oxygen circulates through my lungs. Exhaling the old, problematic TPY estate which I had held in my two bare hands for the past 4 years and 1 month. Old and problematic as it is, but filled with a mixture of good and bad memories and most importantly, customers whom I had served.

Poor families who are truly in need of whatever assistance we abled person can lend a hand. An example which make me keep thanking where I live & how healthy and fortunate I am. I visited an unit (I've forgotten the exact unit or block) belongs to an old man who couldn't walk with ease and see as near or far like I could. Placing my first step on the floor it felt surprisingly chilling. Reason being it is plain concrete finish with weathered surface like the wrinkles on his face. He doesn't have the financial support from kins. Keeping her stomach filled solely on social welfare. Even as my feets were wrapped with sport socks, I still walked with some mental restriction where even tip-toe won't help.

I looked at him with enormous sense of pity which almost hit my tears 'button'. I asked if he need any financial assistance, which I could lend a hand. He rejected me politely and said that he is been assisted by social welfare.

Few weeks later, I met him again that the void deck. Walking face to face, however he does not recognize me this time. Probably memory is failing him. I looked his back view, as he staggered his steps. Nothing much I could offer, except my silent wishes for him.

Now, at where I am. Thankfully, I wasn't just thrown into the deep ocean with a life-jacket. I was slowly guided from 1.2m towards 2m mark, in the swimming pool, before I was release into the ocean. Second thanks is that I not going to handle much residents feedback, or rather, our frontline defence (Call centre) is much more organized and not that pushy as compared to my ex-company.

And due to my job scope, I would not be handling those cases (like the one I have mentioned earlier on) where I do put too much emotion in. Probably I gave things too much thought, and tried doing things that are not within my ability, that causes me to really pause long enough for matters to explode. I not saying I am a saint, just that I felt those pity ones really deserve much much better.

Disregard what I had experienced or experiencing, I shall edge forward slowly and gently on this foreign and unknown path ahead. Wish me all the best.



Writing this entry on 3 separate days with different moods and thoughts really mess up the sequence. Guess I gotta stop here, while I plan for another entry to be drafted within that moment......

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Treatment

24 Mar 2011

Continue with my last entry, the therapy I had was truly some truth discovering experience.


Diagnose with a bloated stomach, I was told that it was due to bad vibes that I've locked them down in there. I was asked if there's any bad feelings or thoughts within me, that I hasn't set them free and find a solution to it.


When the therapist found out that the left side of my stomach was actually higher than the right side (I, myself could really feel with my hands that it is truly higher on the left!), she questioned if the problem that haunt me got to do to "females"?

*As female related problem will affect the left side of body, which is what the therapist claimed. I chose to believe.



True as her diagnose. Probably something which I have been undergoing, since the day I stated my wish to head back to where I feel I belong. During those days, dark arrows shot from mystery, were aimed towards me and I swallowed them down and kept it within me.



Never did I ever share it with anyone else, other than Jazs. I'm truly hurt but I kept it all in me. Ties closer than friends, but somehow the relationship seems like oil on water, separating themselves in defining form, that a CLEAR line is formed. The feeling hurts both of us really bad, so bad that our eyes were drenched a couple of time. Those people, who I, myself, respected for the past 27 years, never really spare a thought for us. Never bother to get the FULL details before trying to cool things down. I just have to tell them, that they see (surfaces) things from above, but they certainly do not have the eye power of an eagle. Probably, bats flying in the night, avoiding obstruction with their EARS (only).

Like I've always tell my friends, The 'Antz' you see during work and outings compare to 'ShuiQing' you see at home are from two different worlds.

Antz do wanna bring laughter and fun to all people he met. Speaks nothing but the truth about his feelings & thoughts and reveals all true expressions on his face.

ShuiQing just wanna stay in his room, befriends with his PC. Speaks no more than 10 sentences to those staying under the same roof. Not that ShuiQing cannot be bothered, just that he had tried. Speaking to them makes ShuiQing like a human just talk to them in some Mars or Jupiter languages.

Trying to fix the knot that is so tight for the past 15 years (since I really understand the Way of Living on planet Earth), I finally throw in the towel.

What we want now is just some peace. Let us enjoy our blissful married life with our parents, and the ones who TRULY, SINCERELY wish us best and brighten up our life journey along the way.

Monday, January 10, 2011

A new note

10 Jan 2011

Brand new year, finally started my engine with some boosters for work and my life. Just wanna update the past one exciting month happenings......



Absolutely wonderful ending to year 2010, with Antz & Jazs' wedding which took place on 18 Dec 2010, Park Royal Hotel. Thinking back, I really really miss those fun moments we had.

On 20 Dec 2010, Antz & Jazs went out of SG to the most Northern part of Japan, the legendary Hokkaido. Our first overseas trip with only the both of us. Sweet sweet journey indeed... Scenes and weather simply hugged us like sugar to donut of our honeymoon.

Afterwhich, my poor poor back injury haunted me the next day after I return from Hokkaido. You wont believe how it's striked me. The sharp prick on my back felt throughout my spine as I stood up from the bowl. Not as bad as the one I had on 2010 Jan, but it certainly hit me real bad. Luckily I'm able to walk after lying down for 20 minutes. But I couldn't bend forward from that moment.

Struggled to get back to work, as my Dear Jazs assisted me with tying of shoelaces. Laughters from my colleagues & boss as I expected, after telling them I may need to take leave the next day. Sitting down the alone the coffeeshop, where I continued to feel the pain after 15 minutes into my lunch.

Next two days, were my Rest-Spine-Days... Thank god, it got better after a week of rest and the amazing Bowen theraphy session I had on 28 Dec 2010.

Lemme share with you during my next entry. Need accompany my wife for once!!
= )

Monday, May 3, 2010

Thoughts on May 2010

3rd May 2010

After completing my course, I finally got some time to spend with Jazs and my friend and colleagues. During the mist of these fun times, I was still thinking about something.

Some things that I feels, worth my time burning my brain cells for....

I just don't why the sudden gash of urge to write this..

I'm just happen this little fear about....

Age...

I feel that Time is peeling off my Youth, layer by layer like an onion.. Age catching up, and I wonder what's more can be done.

Roof over my head, a kid by my arms. I certainly hope I could enjoy a little more. Play my favourite game. Walk along my favourite beach. Make merry with my favourite friends.

Just as the days swept pass me everyday at work, I been hoping that Time goes slower. I merely wanna achieve more! Cant every seconds seems like a minute? Or can I pause the world from rotating while I finish up all my outstanding tasks? Allow me 26 hours a day, I got the energy, I got the motivation, I can pump on. Why cant I have exhange for more time to work now than to sit on the rocking chair, waiting for Death to find me?

That's impossible.

Never can the world wait.

And I'm sure I wasn't thinking too much.

Probably I need an hour tonight to sort out my thoughts and plan to (hopefully) till I'm 35 yrs old.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Sammi

12 Apr 2010

Ten days has past since my birthday, but the memories in me is still fresh.

I just wanna share those memories I had with my first ever concert,







郑秀文 Love Mi 世界巡回演唱会 Singapore !!



And also to record these wonderful memories I had with Jazs by my side, in case I ever feel like recalling them back.....



We headed over to Kallang Indoor Stadium at around 7pm from Suntec, and me, filled with so much of excitement in me. Upon reaching, fans flooded the bridges, car park, Leisure Park.. Woo... We could hardly walk fast!






Entering the East Gate, headed to our seats 9 & 8 on Row 19. Happily seated down, with rest of the stadium half-filled. Looking around, saw a few familiar faces, but didn't went up to call them. I just spend my time surfing FB, browsing through those birthday greetings and also sharing my excitement while replying them.

Finally on 8.35pm it all uncover with a blast!

Chotto等等


As I have watched so many times on her HongKong LoveMI concert on Youtube, I hope that Singapore stop will be the same as HK. Looking her descend with blasting sparks, send the crowds to thundering scream!! And my ears are deaf at that moment..

Following this the music flowed smoothly to connect with a new song, "叮叮当"

Here listen to how she address the crowds in mandarin in a funny way..


Subsequently, similar to HongKong concert she sang, "默契"

A very old song of her, "不来的季节" & "值得" & "娃娃看天下" & "长恨歌" in a weird looking dragon-like suit.


Up next is her 3rd outfit of the night. Retro look with a extremely nice hairdo which Jazs & I love it on her! And she sang a Medley of English songs :
a.I Will Survive
b.Can't Take My Eyes Off You
c.Designer Music
d.Conga







And now her 4th suit, White dress with dozens of roses at the bottom. Performing my favourite sequence of new songs
Episode I:The Darkness
"罪与罚" with HanJin & "You raise me up" & "信者得爱" rap:欧阳靖 MC Jin.




I was actually hope her to sing her new song "上帝早已預備", as I saw the performance at Hong Kong concert was really fantastic! Nevertheless it was great to watch Sammi singing my current favourite album that had been playing everyday while heading home via bus.

After a short break, she returned with an orange dress (5th suit), singing a touching song
"回来我身边" and Sammi's version of "恰似你的温柔", see how funny she put it when she said,"掐死你的溫柔". Haha!!


Following she sang a new song which resemble her feeling, "不要惊动爱情" and an English, "Last Christmas" with HanJin.

There is a really poor showing of SGrean's behaviour. Hundreds of people made the toilet dash when special guest who is also a fellow Singaporean, singing his own songs, together with MC Jin. Looking across the shadow of people's backview, I really pity the performer. Much deserved respect was not given to him. P.S. I din go toilet leh..

Back on stage, Sammi performed a Medley of "独家试唱" + "星「秀」传说" + "煞科" + "叮当" This is when the whole crowd went crazy! Many were spotted standing on chairs, waving their light sticks vigorously throughout the song! And I also cant help but to keep screaming. WOOoooo!!! Hahaha... That is why I din managed to record this wonderful experience. Take a look at the HongKong concert which is even better, with the round stage!




After this performance, I really take my hat off her. Dancing and singing, she is almost breathless as certain part of the last song, you hardly heard her voice. But the performance was impressive! We love the part when she fall backward into a hole while singing "星「秀」传说" and re-appearing to sing "煞科" and we witness how she lifted her right leg almost touching her forehead! It was fantastic!!!


Next it was another change in outfit, Black leather Devil like suit. Singing a song that brought the whole stadium to hymn with her, "亲密关系".
She continue with Medley of her compilation of All-Time favourite songs
"上一次流泪" + "终身美丽" + "不拖不欠" + "落错车"

Ending her night with a MUST-SING, "唯独你是不可取替". where she hopped off, asking the crowds to shout louder if we want an ENCORE. Minutes later, the band started hitting a beat where the crowds went shouting "*Dong Dong SAMMI"

Indeed, she appeared with her 7th or 8th outfit, singing "终身美丽"

After which, she waved goodbye again, saying, "Ok Bye Bye Thank you!! Not sure got another ENCORE anot." Just when some people started getting their ass off the seats, probably typical SGrean's brainy "Faster go, I dun wanna struck in traffic jam!!"

Sammi appeared and this is truly the very last time. At this moment, I stopped taking any vid or photos. Engrossed in her final performance, standing with the rest of the crowds.

After this, I really don't bear to leave the stadium. Hoping there might a 3rd ENCORE. Haha, immediately the bright white light was turned on and that put a stop to this wishful thinking of mine.


Right now I was hoping to catch Sammi the next time she is in town for her next concert or she may pop by due to her upcoming mandarin album. (Currently still shooting vids and photos.)

IF NOT, I will try to persuade Jazs to go HongKong with me at her next concert there, where we can also stop by for a short holiday trip!

Sooooo looking forward!! And that granted my life-long wish of meeting my idol,
Sammi Cheng!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

2nd April 2010 - Highlights of my 26 years

7 Apr 2010

I here to declare that I'm truly very happy with what a unforgettable birthday celebration I had this year 2010.

A 26 yrs old guy who enjoy wonderful experience during his birthday period. I certainly had to say THANK YOU to:

  1. Jazs who accompany me through out all celebrations, giving me a surprise present giving session, sit by me as I cheer for my idol.
  2. Sammi Cheng who held her concert on my actual birthday! Probably it is Fate for that to happen, and I certainly enjoy my first ever meeting with my Life-Long IDOL!
  3. My fun-loving colleagues who celebrate a be-lated birthday with a cake in a cup on 6 Apr 10!!
  4. Cindy who brought me my all-time favourite Kaya Pandan cake!! MuaHahaha!
  5. Not forgeting the rest of my co-workers who gave me a Donut Factory cake on 1st Apr!!! Certainly the first time!
  6. Finally those well wishes from my Best Poly-mates, My Best pals and relatives who wrote either on my FB wall or via sms

THANK YOU!!!

I really apreciate that I do have you guys around me. Thank you.

You may check out those photos taken here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=163622&id=665122178&l=e24884d9f0