24th May 2011
Could not help it but just wanna put this to a memory disk to remind me of the wonderful memories I had and to some ex-colleagues who did not get to see my message to them.
The below message is a final e-mail sent out from my ex-company desktop on 29th April 2011, before 12 noon.
For my ex-colleagues whom I regards as friends now......
"To all my friends at BTPTC,
29th April 2011 mark my last day in BTPTC and I will like to say Thanks and GoodBye.
Since 12th April 2007 where I put my first step into this family, it was a huge leap away from my naive schooling days. It is here, I learnt the way to working life, the important of surviving and how great companionship could keep one motivated to strive on.
Companionship - is the life jacket for Antz to swim n this giantic ocean (BTPTC).Some, probably it's the tough times (knocking door to door or hunting forms during public holidays) we been through, that created the conversations we shared.
Some, whom we barely speak 10 sentences per week, but there's surely topics when we halted by the pantry for a short chat.
Some, who gave me a helping hand to push me higher and guide me through the time where dark cloud blurred me.
While the rest, a simple 'Good Morning' with a smile, did enough to brighten up the start of my day.
Fortunate - is to have you all as my co-workers for the past 4 good years here. Wont forget the laughters we shared during recreational events (Retreat @ Sentosa and D&Ds) and the sweat we dripped during company's missions.
Thank you for all for the companion and the wonderful memories I had here. I sincerely apologize if my words or actions had ever offended you in any way.
I hope the seeds that you had planted with your hard work and time put in, will bloom into a great rewarding havest that you have hope for!
And now, it's really Goodbye and hope we stay in contact (via FB). Take care! = )
Warmest regards, Antz Hong"
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The past and fresh
24th May 2011
Started afresh since 4th May 2011 when fresh oxygen circulates through my lungs. Exhaling the old, problematic TPY estate which I had held in my two bare hands for the past 4 years and 1 month. Old and problematic as it is, but filled with a mixture of good and bad memories and most importantly, customers whom I had served.
Poor families who are truly in need of whatever assistance we abled person can lend a hand. An example which make me keep thanking where I live & how healthy and fortunate I am. I visited an unit (I've forgotten the exact unit or block) belongs to an old man who couldn't walk with ease and see as near or far like I could. Placing my first step on the floor it felt surprisingly chilling. Reason being it is plain concrete finish with weathered surface like the wrinkles on his face. He doesn't have the financial support from kins. Keeping her stomach filled solely on social welfare. Even as my feets were wrapped with sport socks, I still walked with some mental restriction where even tip-toe won't help.
I looked at him with enormous sense of pity which almost hit my tears 'button'. I asked if he need any financial assistance, which I could lend a hand. He rejected me politely and said that he is been assisted by social welfare.
Few weeks later, I met him again that the void deck. Walking face to face, however he does not recognize me this time. Probably memory is failing him. I looked his back view, as he staggered his steps. Nothing much I could offer, except my silent wishes for him.
Now, at where I am. Thankfully, I wasn't just thrown into the deep ocean with a life-jacket. I was slowly guided from 1.2m towards 2m mark, in the swimming pool, before I was release into the ocean. Second thanks is that I not going to handle much residents feedback, or rather, our frontline defence (Call centre) is much more organized and not that pushy as compared to my ex-company.
And due to my job scope, I would not be handling those cases (like the one I have mentioned earlier on) where I do put too much emotion in. Probably I gave things too much thought, and tried doing things that are not within my ability, that causes me to really pause long enough for matters to explode. I not saying I am a saint, just that I felt those pity ones really deserve much much better.
Disregard what I had experienced or experiencing, I shall edge forward slowly and gently on this foreign and unknown path ahead. Wish me all the best.
Writing this entry on 3 separate days with different moods and thoughts really mess up the sequence. Guess I gotta stop here, while I plan for another entry to be drafted within that moment......
Started afresh since 4th May 2011 when fresh oxygen circulates through my lungs. Exhaling the old, problematic TPY estate which I had held in my two bare hands for the past 4 years and 1 month. Old and problematic as it is, but filled with a mixture of good and bad memories and most importantly, customers whom I had served.
Poor families who are truly in need of whatever assistance we abled person can lend a hand. An example which make me keep thanking where I live & how healthy and fortunate I am. I visited an unit (I've forgotten the exact unit or block) belongs to an old man who couldn't walk with ease and see as near or far like I could. Placing my first step on the floor it felt surprisingly chilling. Reason being it is plain concrete finish with weathered surface like the wrinkles on his face. He doesn't have the financial support from kins. Keeping her stomach filled solely on social welfare. Even as my feets were wrapped with sport socks, I still walked with some mental restriction where even tip-toe won't help.
I looked at him with enormous sense of pity which almost hit my tears 'button'. I asked if he need any financial assistance, which I could lend a hand. He rejected me politely and said that he is been assisted by social welfare.
Few weeks later, I met him again that the void deck. Walking face to face, however he does not recognize me this time. Probably memory is failing him. I looked his back view, as he staggered his steps. Nothing much I could offer, except my silent wishes for him.
Now, at where I am. Thankfully, I wasn't just thrown into the deep ocean with a life-jacket. I was slowly guided from 1.2m towards 2m mark, in the swimming pool, before I was release into the ocean. Second thanks is that I not going to handle much residents feedback, or rather, our frontline defence (Call centre) is much more organized and not that pushy as compared to my ex-company.
And due to my job scope, I would not be handling those cases (like the one I have mentioned earlier on) where I do put too much emotion in. Probably I gave things too much thought, and tried doing things that are not within my ability, that causes me to really pause long enough for matters to explode. I not saying I am a saint, just that I felt those pity ones really deserve much much better.
Disregard what I had experienced or experiencing, I shall edge forward slowly and gently on this foreign and unknown path ahead. Wish me all the best.
Writing this entry on 3 separate days with different moods and thoughts really mess up the sequence. Guess I gotta stop here, while I plan for another entry to be drafted within that moment......
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Treatment
24 Mar 2011
Continue with my last entry, the therapy I had was truly some truth discovering experience.
Diagnose with a bloated stomach, I was told that it was due to bad vibes that I've locked them down in there. I was asked if there's any bad feelings or thoughts within me, that I hasn't set them free and find a solution to it.
When the therapist found out that the left side of my stomach was actually higher than the right side (I, myself could really feel with my hands that it is truly higher on the left!), she questioned if the problem that haunt me got to do to "females"?
*As female related problem will affect the left side of body, which is what the therapist claimed. I chose to believe.
True as her diagnose. Probably something which I have been undergoing, since the day I stated my wish to head back to where I feel I belong. During those days, dark arrows shot from mystery, were aimed towards me and I swallowed them down and kept it within me.
Never did I ever share it with anyone else, other than Jazs. I'm truly hurt but I kept it all in me. Ties closer than friends, but somehow the relationship seems like oil on water, separating themselves in defining form, that a CLEAR line is formed. The feeling hurts both of us really bad, so bad that our eyes were drenched a couple of time. Those people, who I, myself, respected for the past 27 years, never really spare a thought for us. Never bother to get the FULL details before trying to cool things down. I just have to tell them, that they see (surfaces) things from above, but they certainly do not have the eye power of an eagle. Probably, bats flying in the night, avoiding obstruction with their EARS (only).
Like I've always tell my friends, The 'Antz' you see during work and outings compare to 'ShuiQing' you see at home are from two different worlds.
Antz do wanna bring laughter and fun to all people he met. Speaks nothing but the truth about his feelings & thoughts and reveals all true expressions on his face.
ShuiQing just wanna stay in his room, befriends with his PC. Speaks no more than 10 sentences to those staying under the same roof. Not that ShuiQing cannot be bothered, just that he had tried. Speaking to them makes ShuiQing like a human just talk to them in some Mars or Jupiter languages.
Trying to fix the knot that is so tight for the past 15 years (since I really understand the Way of Living on planet Earth), I finally throw in the towel.
What we want now is just some peace. Let us enjoy our blissful married life with our parents, and the ones who TRULY, SINCERELY wish us best and brighten up our life journey along the way.
Continue with my last entry, the therapy I had was truly some truth discovering experience.
Diagnose with a bloated stomach, I was told that it was due to bad vibes that I've locked them down in there. I was asked if there's any bad feelings or thoughts within me, that I hasn't set them free and find a solution to it.
When the therapist found out that the left side of my stomach was actually higher than the right side (I, myself could really feel with my hands that it is truly higher on the left!), she questioned if the problem that haunt me got to do to "females"?
*As female related problem will affect the left side of body, which is what the therapist claimed. I chose to believe.
True as her diagnose. Probably something which I have been undergoing, since the day I stated my wish to head back to where I feel I belong. During those days, dark arrows shot from mystery, were aimed towards me and I swallowed them down and kept it within me.
Never did I ever share it with anyone else, other than Jazs. I'm truly hurt but I kept it all in me. Ties closer than friends, but somehow the relationship seems like oil on water, separating themselves in defining form, that a CLEAR line is formed. The feeling hurts both of us really bad, so bad that our eyes were drenched a couple of time. Those people, who I, myself, respected for the past 27 years, never really spare a thought for us. Never bother to get the FULL details before trying to cool things down. I just have to tell them, that they see (surfaces) things from above, but they certainly do not have the eye power of an eagle. Probably, bats flying in the night, avoiding obstruction with their EARS (only).
Like I've always tell my friends, The 'Antz' you see during work and outings compare to 'ShuiQing' you see at home are from two different worlds.
Antz do wanna bring laughter and fun to all people he met. Speaks nothing but the truth about his feelings & thoughts and reveals all true expressions on his face.
ShuiQing just wanna stay in his room, befriends with his PC. Speaks no more than 10 sentences to those staying under the same roof. Not that ShuiQing cannot be bothered, just that he had tried. Speaking to them makes ShuiQing like a human just talk to them in some Mars or Jupiter languages.
Trying to fix the knot that is so tight for the past 15 years (since I really understand the Way of Living on planet Earth), I finally throw in the towel.
What we want now is just some peace. Let us enjoy our blissful married life with our parents, and the ones who TRULY, SINCERELY wish us best and brighten up our life journey along the way.
Monday, January 10, 2011
A new note
10 Jan 2011
Brand new year, finally started my engine with some boosters for work and my life. Just wanna update the past one exciting month happenings......
Absolutely wonderful ending to year 2010, with Antz & Jazs' wedding which took place on 18 Dec 2010, Park Royal Hotel. Thinking back, I really really miss those fun moments we had.
On 20 Dec 2010, Antz & Jazs went out of SG to the most Northern part of Japan, the legendary Hokkaido. Our first overseas trip with only the both of us. Sweet sweet journey indeed... Scenes and weather simply hugged us like sugar to donut of our honeymoon.
Afterwhich, my poor poor back injury haunted me the next day after I return from Hokkaido. You wont believe how it's striked me. The sharp prick on my back felt throughout my spine as I stood up from the bowl. Not as bad as the one I had on 2010 Jan, but it certainly hit me real bad. Luckily I'm able to walk after lying down for 20 minutes. But I couldn't bend forward from that moment.
Struggled to get back to work, as my Dear Jazs assisted me with tying of shoelaces. Laughters from my colleagues & boss as I expected, after telling them I may need to take leave the next day. Sitting down the alone the coffeeshop, where I continued to feel the pain after 15 minutes into my lunch.
Next two days, were my Rest-Spine-Days... Thank god, it got better after a week of rest and the amazing Bowen theraphy session I had on 28 Dec 2010.
Lemme share with you during my next entry. Need accompany my wife for once!!
= )
Brand new year, finally started my engine with some boosters for work and my life. Just wanna update the past one exciting month happenings......
Absolutely wonderful ending to year 2010, with Antz & Jazs' wedding which took place on 18 Dec 2010, Park Royal Hotel. Thinking back, I really really miss those fun moments we had.
On 20 Dec 2010, Antz & Jazs went out of SG to the most Northern part of Japan, the legendary Hokkaido. Our first overseas trip with only the both of us. Sweet sweet journey indeed... Scenes and weather simply hugged us like sugar to donut of our honeymoon.
Afterwhich, my poor poor back injury haunted me the next day after I return from Hokkaido. You wont believe how it's striked me. The sharp prick on my back felt throughout my spine as I stood up from the bowl. Not as bad as the one I had on 2010 Jan, but it certainly hit me real bad. Luckily I'm able to walk after lying down for 20 minutes. But I couldn't bend forward from that moment.
Struggled to get back to work, as my Dear Jazs assisted me with tying of shoelaces. Laughters from my colleagues & boss as I expected, after telling them I may need to take leave the next day. Sitting down the alone the coffeeshop, where I continued to feel the pain after 15 minutes into my lunch.
Next two days, were my Rest-Spine-Days... Thank god, it got better after a week of rest and the amazing Bowen theraphy session I had on 28 Dec 2010.
Lemme share with you during my next entry. Need accompany my wife for once!!
= )
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