A day to remember

8 Apr 08

Finally, it have been 24 years since Antz struck planet, Earth.

2 Apr 08, seem gonna be another birthday I had. Fortunately or unfortunately it turns out very unforgettable. A very close family friend of mine passed away on that very day.

She is my family neighbour and my Mum's friend for decades, and I know her since young. On every Thursday, she will be at our house, chatting with my mum, where I will always be there around the dinning table listening to their conversation. She watched me from toddler till now, where I found myself a GF. I treat her as another aunt of mine.

So 3 days ago, Jazs and I heard from mum that she is very sick, and we planned to visit her on the next weekend. She have been resting at home since her op on last year. When we visited her on Chinese New Year 08, she still seems weak but was extremely happy when we visited her. Well, we thought that she is recovering well. But little did we expect things turn out this way.

2 Apr 08, I was on my birthday off, I thought of going to the temple to pray for her good health. But my heart sank when Mum broke the news with her watery eyes. I was caught in the moment, held my head in disbelief. So I sms-ed Jazs, who called me almost immediately. "It's too late..." she said. I bit my lips hard, blaming myself, why did we go over earlier.

During one of the nights, I went over. I saw the bulb hanging on the void deck ceiling, the yellow canvas fencing, I heard the ritual from the carpark. Yet at that point of time, I could not bring to myself to believe it is true. As I sat down, I felt great moisture around my eyes, I felt great discomfort sitting down there. I even struggled mentally to offer her prayers. I tried opening my mouth but I failed to speak a word. I hit the top most level of my tolerance while listening to Mum relating her pasts.

On her final day, I viewed the final ritual in great depression. I stood beside my Mum, holding on to her arms, could not bear to face the fact that this is the last time we will be seeing her. Reaching Mandai crematorium, viewing the burial was another mental struggle. This is where my tears went uncontrollable.

Till now, thinking back, everything is too late. Mum mentioned she like crowds, so she chose Wednesday to Sunday - Final day. Or I thought maybe she wants me to remember her by this date.

I really hope she is free from sickness up there and I will miss her laughters and conversations with us. Take care.